Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Hello, is there anybody out there???
If anyone ever reads this, please hit me back. I feel like I am losing it sometimes. I mean what can a guy do when his wife has been in bed for 11 days and still can't/won't get up? Can anyone give me any advice about coping with a loved one who has bipolar? This is serious! I don't know what to do.....
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7 comments:
Hi;
I saw your post and hope this helps: Bipolar means, just how it sounds, moods that fluctuate greatly between illation, excitement and hyper-activity and melloncolly, sadness, anger, distain, disgust, rejection etc. in cycles. Her Meds can take six weeks to start kicking in... Meanwhile, all you can do is make positive suggestions and try not to harp on anything until her Meds kick in; such as going for walks together, making plans for your future and removing other stress from her environment. Comfort her yes. But allow her some privacy to heel and catch her breath. If the meds aren't working by then, get her on something else right away!
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Hi Alan my name is Aimee. I read your post about your wife and thought as a married woman who suffers from bi-polar you may want to talk. My email address is aimwalte@netzero.com
I have been married for 17 years and I was diagnosed with bi-polar about 4 years ago.
I hope to hear from you.
aimee
Alan,
I forgot to mention that I am stable.
I agree with the others that her meds may be off. I don't know how long she has been on meds, but sometimes it takes a while to get the right "coctail". One thing I would suggest, if you haven't already done it, is to get her permission to talk with any and all of her doctors. This works very well for my husband. There have been times when I couldn't talk to my doctor or leave the house to see him, and my husband would call, and since they had my permission, he and my doctor could discuss treatment options or change my meds or whatever needed to be done.
I cannot take antidepressants, they make me worse. Mood stabilizers is what works best for me.
And Alan, I don't agree with forcing her out of bed, be there, encourage her and make suggestions, but it is my opinion that if you force her to do things, it is going to put more stress on her and depress her more. I know that this is hard to believe, but this will pass. It is the nature of bi-polar.
My husband is on FMLA, do you know what that is? In case you don't, It stands for Family Medical Leave Act. It is a federal program, that allows you to miss work to care for a spouse or child. Your employer cannot hold the day(s) you miss against you, although you wont get paid for that day(s). I know you said you are overwhelmed having to work, take care of the house and your wife. FMLA may help a bit with the pressure, if you can take a day here and there.
I hope this has helped some Alan, bi-polar is no joke, and no picnic for those who are trying to help a loved one. My husband has been through hell and back more than once with me and I thank God for him every day.
I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers.
Please feel free to write, you have my email address, I'll help any way I can.
Aimee
I don't think you heal while staying in bed. I know I don't.
If I had someone like you to take care of me, I would stay in bed, too. I don't, so I reluctantly get up and fumble through the day.
I read in a self help book years ago. A man wanted to divorce his wife, but she threatened suicide if he did.
He eventually divorced her. She got a job.
I am only relating a story, not giving advice. It's a tough call.
Good luck
i dont know if this will help you.My wife has bipolar..and i had up to two months ago been deaking with it pretty much on my own. She had been taken Lexapro for about two ywars prescibed by our regular doc. for depression. well two months ago she broke down at work and was in a bad state of mine. Suicidal in fact..but she did come home and let me know so I was lucky. we went to the hospital where they addmitted her four four days and then she went to outpatient for two weeks. It helped we thought...but now she has a theripist and psichiatrist she see's and just the past two weeks things have gotten much worst...she see's deman and is parinoid at work..she just cant hardly get through a day without something new appearing. She is now on 5 medicines and we go back tomorrow to her doctor . He thinks she has manic bipolar now..so we are just waiting to see what goes on. She cant funtion...cant go to stores with me..stays in the car...she cant concentrate...thinks everyone is out to get her..and is talking about her at work. She is scared. Iam sure your wife is also. I feel myself scared for her and for me. When they get like this sleeping for all hours at a time..you dont know what to do. Your life is put on hold ..its all about them and there needs and are they ok..and what can I do to make them okay. Therpy helps she thinks...and we have two doctors who are suppotive and understanding, even if they have heard it all before. So I think we are lucky there. It gets really hard to continue your job and concentrate and know you have all this to deal with at the same time. But take it from someone who has dealt with it for years now...hang in there. Go to therepy with her. Talk about your fears and concerns in sesion. Let her know how special she is to you and how much You love her..no matter what happens. She needs to know this. She is feeling like a loser and in her mind she may feel you are better off without her..Let her know you arent going anywhere..and together you can work this out.
Hang in there spartacus.The Bi-polar roller coaster is no fun. But I was told in 2004 that my diagnosis was a mistake. I know I had counselling and learned to deal with my issues but my husband believed in me and encouraged me to live my life as though I was healed. It worked. -I've been off Lithium for 3 years and am better than I ever was before. Be patient, be kind , listen to your wife and try to understand.
You have to be bi-polar to know the ins and outs- but having someone who believes you can beat it is the answer. Tell her to find something to put herself into- I began to visit seniors in my town. And found that I wasn't as bad off as I thought I was. Thanks for listening. DJ
You've got to take one day at a time. I've felt your pain. Right now hubby is on Lithium and everything is smooth for us right now. I keep wondering how long till the next "explosion". About every 3 years he goes totally manic.
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